Saturday, May 22, 2010

Over 750 Million Reasons to Root against Tiger

750 million dollars.

You'd probably run out of things to buy before it's all gone.

Reports are that Elin's demands from Tiger have reached 750 million dollars. Good thing Tiger didn't lose ALL of his endorsements.

I always rooted against Tiger. Any player who wins the majority of the time becomes the enemy over time. Tiger shoved his picture-perfect PR image in the faces of his fans. Beloved golfer, husband, father, son of Earl, etc. His fist pumps grew tired in the back of our minds, but he was still Tiger. Still perfect.

What happened early Friday morning after Thanksgiving gave a sigh of relief to everyone. He was human like the rest of us. Then the mistresses and strippers came out -- and he became worse than human.

Oh, right, he's a sex addict.

My mistake, he had a problem.

Lost in all of the Tiger drama is the person who has taken the biggest hit and suffered the most: Elin. I'll spare you the feminist rants and get to the most important point: I hope Elin cleans up every penny she is asking for.

Do I believe that the November night in Orlando was the first time Elin found out about Tiger's secret life? No way. However, that night could have been strike three, or based on the number of affairs, strike thirty. No wonder Tiger got whipped that night (insert Tiger sex joke here). Since the affairs, negative publicity (to put it lightly), the texts and voicemails, paparazzi, and press conferences, Tiger has been a disgrace to his fans, family, and even himself. I'm embarassed to see him even try and play golf. After his strong showing in the Masters in April, he's been to golf what the Bruins have been to Boston: disgraceful. The Nike commercial with his father's voice was not only sinful, but proved to me and many others how truly sick this guy is.

Phil Mickelson's Masters performance was beautiful. Phil cares for his sick wife. Tiger cheats on his. Phil cries before cameras -- exposing his true self. He doesn't hold back, speaks honestly, and earns the respect from all authentically. Tiger frames his image, life, family, and self-being to deceive us into loving him. He lies, cheats, and even steals our respect. Lefty sporting the green jacket that day over Tiger taught us a valuable lesson: live the right way and life will treat you well. How ironic, Tiger.

Tiger has spent years chasing bimbos, winning majors, and filling bank accounts like no one else. He now sits at home injured, nearly divorced, destroyed, and soon to be broke. I don't wish for bad on people -- but Tiger won't be receiving my sympathy card in the mail. I hope Nike makes commercials for bankruptcy, because Tiger is certainly not out of the Woods.

4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. hahaha good last line. but, as much as i've disliked tiger in the past (for the same reason you listed, he's the "enemy"), it's kinda silly to be constantly tormenting the guy over his sex-scapades. yea, he made a mistake when he married. but if either of us had over a billion dollars to our name im guessing we would take advantage of it and plow everything that moved.

    again, i dislike tiger as much as any sports fan, but to hop on lefties "bandwagon" for being a sincere guy when he's long been considered the biggest phony in the sport is just a knee-jerk reaction. all aboard the YE Yang chink-mobile!

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  3. she knew exactly what she was getting into when they got married. it's not her money, she's a nanny, not a great golfer. don't give her a cent,

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  4. hahahaah nice ending... and that guys a fucking chump, adam scotts where its at haaa haaa

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